MP DAVIDS REPORTS

By: MP Davids

The sunny yet windy Sunday morning of 19 November 2017 had all the tell signs to prepare me for the mixed feelings I was about to experience that day. My life as I knew it was about to change, in fact little did I know that I was about to have the most defining monologue of my then, 27 – year old life.

My partner Agnes had an announcement to make. She had a certain glow on her face which made her usually beautiful round eyes even more appealing. It is her eyes and curves that lured me to her in the first place and how her size 32 frame beautifully envelopes her curves. Do not judge, I am a man who appreciates aesthetics. She is respectful to everyone, humble, has a lot of love in her bones, power in her skull. Oh yes and now – a baby in her belly. That was the big announcement, we were going to be first-time parents!

While I stood there being happy, scared, thinking of researches and wondering if I was going to be a good father, her excitement was evident as the glow turned into tears of joy on her light complexioned face. Looking at her, I made an instantaneous decision that I would never leave her side and she should count me in for every doctor’s appointment, first kick and everything else that came with this new responsibility.

Psyching myself up to being a parent for the first time, was a very emotional and sometimes scary process. I feared the unknown. Would I be a good father? Will I be able to guide and support my child? Would I be a good role model? Many questions, no answers, but the determination was my best bet. Of course, I want to be all that and have a close relationship with my child, that much I was certain of. After all, which father wouldn’t? My own father seems to have managed pretty well.

Oops! I had the ambivalence of telling my parents. I guess it is because I have always seen myself as their child and nothing else. To my surprise, they were very happy about being grandparents. My dad could not hold his excitement “I am really happy for you my boy,” he said with a smile.

The statistics made me realise how fortunate I was to have had my dad around to raise me. I love the childhood stories he is so fond of narrating. He says he once brought me a cap written “here comes trouble” not that I was a troublesome kid, at least that’s what I think. I have never really asked him why he bought that cap. I remember, the first time I went to Sterkinekor Cinema in Pretoria, Sammy Marks Square was with my dad in 1996, and we watched Man in Black. Those are the kind of memories I want to create for my child.

Doctor’s appointments were the most exciting part for me, I could not wait to see my son and hear his heartbeat through sonar. That was priceless, I experienced a whole new level of love and happiness. I always thought I knew what love is. Looking at him stretch his little hands, I think I have found a new expression of love. The love is just unexplainable, it’s overwhelming. I cannot begin to comprehend it.

I am not really a great cook, but I can put together a good and healthy meal. The kitchen was now my play-ground I started cooking regularly for my partner. I did laundry, I cleaned most of the time. I decided to go out once a month. I wanted to spend every moment with my partner and son I wanted to experience his kicks.

A couple of weeks before Agnes went into labour, I made a decision that I was not going to witness her give birth. After all, that’s taboo in most African cultures. But guess what? I found myself in the theatre room, holding her hand while the gynaecologist and her team were busy. There I was in typical blue theatre clothes, with the title: Doctor, on the left chest, man it felt so good. One of the assistants kept taking pictures with our phones.

I was repeatedly kissing Agnes’s forehead and kept telling her how much I loved her, I don’t know why I did that. I guess I was overcome by emotions. In less than 20 minutes they were done. My boy was born. It was 12:25pm, Monday afternoon. It was not a natural birth because of his weight, he came at 3,39kg. “Your son is a big boy and very healthy,” said one of the nurses.

“Mr Davids would you like to cut the umbilical cord?” someone asked me. Without hesitation, I took the scissors and cut the umbilical cord.

I left the theatre room with my son, they put him inside an incubator, just to monitor him. I stood there, gazing at my son, his wide open eyes. For a moment I had forgotten about my partner, I just wanted to be with my son.

It just felt so good to be involved in the pregnancy and delivery stages, add the cherry on top, I wrote my son’s names when home affairs officials arrived. Mbulelo Lesedi Asher Davids. “So many names? asked the Home Affairs official jokingly. I will make sure he knows how to write all of them, I responded with confidence.

Mbulelo is a Xhosa word which means “Thank You”. I am Xhosa. Lesedi is a Sotho word, meaning “Brightness”. His mother is Sotho, and she is my brightness. Asher means “Happy and Blessed” – that is my current state of mind.

It has been more than 22 days now, since the new innocent soul in entered my life. I enjoyed every minute of those days. Funny enough, I do not complain about the sleepless nights, honestly, it’s not that bad. I enjoyed watching my son being wide awake in the middle of the night and changing his nappies, even if I have done it only three times in the past 22 days.

How can I forget to mention that in all three occasions, Mbulelo has peed on my face. The young man just decides that he is going to let go and let lose his urine and pee on me. What can I say? It’s a baptism of love.